Hopefully a False Alarm

Have I mentioned that I'm 44. Did I ever let you know that I have 2 biological GROWN girls ( in June they will both be officially in college). Did I forget to say that Husband #2's daughters live in Alaska and only come to visit. If you read my "100 things about me" blog, then you'd also be right on the money when you conclude that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to travel. I have already scheduled Palm Springs in March and April, Virginia and Cabo San Lucas in May, Big Bear in June, and hopefully a cruise around the Mediterranean in August. Oh, and I have an angel of a 7 month old (which will be accompanying me on all the trips - yes, at 44 they bend to your schedule, not the other way around! :))

Anyway, Why, do you ask, would you have another child when you so clearly have GROWN girls already, and you LOVE to travel?

Well, when I met husband #2 on Match.com (I think I really should turn off my computer at this stage in my life, but now I'm addicted to blogging), we knew each other for a very short time before we knew we were destined to marry (all of about 2 weeks). We were engaged on a trip to Yellowstone National Park - yes, you guessed it - in front of Old Faithful Geyser. I now call him my "faithful geizer". Anyway, husband #2 did not have a chance to raise his girls. Kayla, 20, was 3 when he met her mother. They had Jaycie, 13, a few years later, but the relationship ended and he moved back to California. I am proud to say that he has traveled there yearly and talks with them as often as possible to stay a connected dad! They come here as well!

Anyhoo, of course we talked about the prospect of having children. Basically, it went something like:
H#2 - You know, I would like to have a child.
Me - Really, I don't.
H#2 - I will feel really jipped if I don't have a chance to be a hands on father.
Me - Really, ..... um ...... I already raised 2 girls, and I think I'm done.
H#2 - I have so much to offer a child, and I would really, really like the chance to raise a son or daughter.
Me - Really,..... I'm not really up for it.

Yada Yada Yada. Anyway, you get the drift. Sooooo on our honeymoon, under a beautiful Antigua sky, I finally relinquished and said I would give it a try for one year and then he would have to be surgically fixed.
I felt very sure I would not get pregnant. But, I wanted to be an obedient wife.

A year went by.

I thought it would be callous of me to say on our anniversary, "You know, I made an appointment with your doctor today....." so I waited about 2 weeks. We had another conversation:

Me - Well, it's been over a year, and I'm not getting any younger!
H#2 - Do you think we could try for just a couple more months.
Me - (Surely I'm not destined to be pregnant) Sure honey, if that's what you really want.

November 30th
Me - Holy sh - (Sorry, I really did say it) as I stared at the solid line across the pregnancy test.
H#2 - Hoorah!! Yada Yada Yada

To say that I was freaked out is about the biggest understatement one could make. I was not prepared. This is why for 9 months I prayed, "Dear Lord, let this child be content to sit on a couch, play with a box, and be a sweet as my dog." I was terrified. Did I mention that I had my tubes tied when Austin (C-section) was born?

Well, Austin is here. And I praise God throughout everyday for this absolute miracle. He is truly an angel dropped from the living room of heaven. I am honored to be his mom, and I love watching dad play, kiss, and cuddle with his son.

But..... a week ago I had a very unusual menstrual cycle. I joked that I might be pregnant. In fact, I asked a friend of mine who is pregnant if she would pee on a pregnancy test for an April Fools joke I was going to play on H#2.
While at dinner last night with the lemondrops, they informed me that you can still get pregnant even if your tubes are tied.... WHO KNEW THIS???? That the tubes can actually grow back together.. WHY WASN'T I TOLD?? That you have to sign a disclaimer so you can't sue the doctor if you get pregnant... DID I SIGN SOMETHING?????

Tomorrow I am going to get a pregnancy test. Let's just hope I still need to use my friends.